Why It's Important to Have Support from Your Partner
No matter what your ambitions are in life, it is very important to have the love and support from your partner. For me personally, I discuss all my visions and dreams with my husband because I trust that he will add clarity and innovation to my ideas to further expand my vision, not to mention, I get his blessings as well.
It’s equally as important that you support your partner as they pursue or build courage to pursue their visions. The least you can do that ends up going a very long way is believing in them and showing them that you are there to cheer them on, celebrate victories together and strategize on a better plan when either of you face failures. The point is, do it together.
This becomes so much more important when you have children in the picture. If you are a stay at home mother and would now like to open your own business so that you can control your schedule or perhaps you want to work from home for an employer—you will need your partner’s emotional, financial and physical support with the children. Talk to your partner so that they can understand how your typical routines will change. You will need more hands-on help with the kids; laundry will only be done once a week, and perhaps now you can only cook homemade meals three times a week.
You must communicate these changes with your partner so that they feel involved and understand the changes that are about to impact them as well. If supporting you doesn’t come naturally to them then have the conversation about how important their support is. Be open. Be honest. Be vulnerable. This is the only way to live a true relationship.
There are so many ways to show and receive support but here are three important ways I believe rank high and are critical for a successful partnership. Both you and your loved one should practice all of the following. If your partner fails at any of these then you take the lead and surely, they will follow.
No matter how busy the days get or how stressful it is to keep up with the kid’s activities, work, and home life, never stop being affectionate towards yours partner. You both need and thrive off of this affection. Don’t get so consumed in the hustle that you forget what really matters. Your partner needs to know that they come first and that you will always value their love over everything else. You have a commitment to one another now you should maintain it the same way you would maintain your body, car, house, job, education, etc.
Understand Their Way
Your partner will have his or her own way of seeing things in life. They will have their own values and interpretations of life circumstances. Respect that. Do not always mistake your differences for lack of support. Do not become overly consumed in your vision and your needs that you forget to consider how your decisions may impact them and your family. Take into consideration how your partner tends to approach certain matters then try to understand why they may respond a certain way and communicate effectively your point of view. THIS TAKES EFFORT.
Don’t Overly Compromise Yourself
You won’t always agree on everything but that doesn’t mean you should forfeit all your dreams because your partner doesn’t see value in any of them. Hold on to your dreams and continue to communicate with your partner for them to understand why this is important to you. If they can’t understand the logic behind it then they should at least show support by understanding your emotional logic. Now, if you have outrageously dangerous or extremely high-risk ideas that are completely irrational, you should understand it’s probably best to set them to the side. Just saying. Other than that, in any relationship comes compromise however, don’t compromise yourself so much that you lose yourself.
Everyone has a unique relationship. I find that one of the best practices my husband and I adopted is to share everything. We physically map out of 1, 3, 5- and 10-year plans. We ask each other what our dreams are so that we can understand the financial, emotional, and physical support the other needs to get there. By doing this we are able to make informed decisions and calculate the effects of positive and negative impact prior to the experience. In essence, we build a protective layer over our relationship by communicating what, why, how, when and all the “ifs”.
This is also important because now he can understand his responsibilities at home so that I can work efficiently. If we don’t communicate these things and I am not able to do the things I wish to do I would grow resentment towards him and he would reciprocate those feelings. Avoid the overwhelming frustration.
Now, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Tell your partner how much they mean to you; how much you love them and how much you believe in their dreams. Encourage them to live this thing called life and pursue their hobbies, ideas or careers they have always wanted to but held back. Valentine’s Day just might be the best time to spark this conversation. I mean WHAT A GIFT!
Two heads are almost always better than one…. Work together and see how much more you will enjoy your relationship!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Fatimeh Barrie, Founder, Modern Day Woman